Hello, devoted readers (a.k.a. Mom), friends and complete strangers who stumbled across my blog. How is everyone today? Feeling good? Eating right, getting plenty of sleep, lots of exercise? The women here apparently are. Well the women here minus one, that is - me.
I don't know what it is about this town that I moved to but the women here are ridiculously fit. Every day as I drop my son off at preschool I am astounded by the number of women sporting their Lycra and spandex, heading off for a few volleys in their club-approved tennis skorts or out for a run in their Under Armour compression gear.
And they look like they actually put these cute clothes to use, too, unlike some women who throw on a pair of yoga pants for the comfort factor even though the most activity their bodies have seen or will see that day is the brief stretch they took as they reluctantly crawled out of bed. In my defense, I mean their, defense, they...ok, we have good intentions. We struggle into our stretched out stretch pants with the full intent of getting in some sort of exercise that day. We really do. But between the drop offs and pick ups and grocery getting and laundry doing and mess hall duty, etc we somehow never seem to squeeze it in. Or at least that is what we tell ourselves....and our husbands. (but not the too-fit Stepford wife at the preschool. I will happily let her think I jogged 5 miles before the kiddos got up and that I am heading straight to the gym as soon as I get out of the carpool line, even though I am really heading to Starbucks.)
When did being fit become so en vogue anyway? It seems to me that back in the 80s people were pretty serious about their Jazzercise and Jane Fonda workout tapes, but then in the coffee-house fueled 90s being fit seemed to be incidental more than intentional. With the changing of the Millennium people started taking physical fitness more seriously, I guess. Maybe when Y2K didn't bring about mass anarchy and chaos as had been predicted people decided they had something to live for after all. Or maybe it was the advancement of technology that sparked the renewed interest in getting fit. Before the eruption of social media sites like Facebook one only had to worry about looking good every 10 years or so at their high school reunions. Now we have people tagging us in pictures at every possibly moment and broadcasting it for the world to see. That is a lot of motivation to keep fit. (And yet I have gained 10 pounds in the last year. Hmm....).
In any case, whatever the reason, whatever the popular workout or gear of the moment, it is true that exercise is good for you. I get that that. And I really am going to put my yoga pants to work soon. I finally found my own personal motivation. Nothing else fits.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Looking back while walking forward
I was reading a post on one of my old and long-since-forgotten blogs the other day which told the story of how my husband and I came to meet, marry and welcome into our arms and lives our beautiful baby girl - who is now seven and a big sister to her five year old brother - and it started me thinking about my life and how much it has changed over the past 10 years. Ten years and two months ago I was lonely, broken-hearted and plain old sad. After struggling through a series of short-lived and ill-considered romances with all of the wrong men, I was convinced I would never have the kind of love and life I had always envisioned for myself. I was truly devastated. Not that a relationship is the end-all-be-all. It isn't. And not that having a man in your life defines you as a woman. It doesn't. But for me having that love and creating my own happy, little family was the #1 utmost priority in my life, and when it didn't happen in my twenties. I thought I was doomed to be alone forever. After all I was thirty! The big 3-0. The age by which most of my friends had already experienced the blissful bounty of marriage - some of them twice. They had found that everlasting love, their soul mate, their lobster, yet there I was sullen, alone and ready to count myself out. I had missed the boat, that ship had sailed, insert-your-own-metaphor- here, but it was over for me. I was too old and too worn out and just plain done. I was THIRTY and SINGLE! It may as well have been a death sentence.
Of course I laugh at it now. The forty-year-old me finds the younger version incredibly silly and pathetic, although she is usually good for a laugh. But then the forty-year-old me has had the benefit of having all of the things the younger version was seeking: love, commitment, marriage, children. And I have had the benefit of seeing those things for what they are, and not through some Disney-inspired looking glass. I have experienced all of the highs and lows that come with marriage, pregnancy, child-rearing, all of it . And of course I now have the "I am forty and I don't have to give a shit what people think anymore" card that came in my "Forty and Fabulous" kit on my birthday. (If you are forty + you know exactly what I mean. If you are not, just wait, you will find out.)
My point is that in a matter of years which, God-willing, will equate to merely an eighth or so of my life everything changed. I did meet a man shortly before my 31st birthday who did fill that void in my life and to whom I have been happily married for 8 years. My life is nothing now as it was then. All of the worries and heartaches I felt at 30 have become moot. Of course new worries have taken their place. Things I never even thought about when I was a spring chicken. Things like my parents getting older, keeping my children safe, raising them to be thoughtful, intelligent, caring, etc. I don't think you ever outgrow fears, they just change as you move along your spectrum of life. But at least we can face those new fears with more strength and confidence, knowing that when we reach that next phase of our life, this mountain of fear that is in front of us now will be behind us, and when we look back from a distance will be but a small stone and we will laugh at ourselves for letting it intimidate us as much as it did. I know that when I hit the big 5-0 the fifty-year-old me will be asking herself "Why did I let those things bother me so much when I was forty?" That knowledge may not stop me from stressing when we are running late for the bus or yelling at my kids as they wipe their peanut butter hands on their jeans or any of that everyday crap we all deal. But when the house is quiet and I am alone with my thoughts it will comfort me and allow me to enjoy the gift of this family that I so very much wanted, and for which I am so truly grateful, and forget all of the rest. At least until tomorrow.
Of course I laugh at it now. The forty-year-old me finds the younger version incredibly silly and pathetic, although she is usually good for a laugh. But then the forty-year-old me has had the benefit of having all of the things the younger version was seeking: love, commitment, marriage, children. And I have had the benefit of seeing those things for what they are, and not through some Disney-inspired looking glass. I have experienced all of the highs and lows that come with marriage, pregnancy, child-rearing, all of it . And of course I now have the "I am forty and I don't have to give a shit what people think anymore" card that came in my "Forty and Fabulous" kit on my birthday. (If you are forty + you know exactly what I mean. If you are not, just wait, you will find out.)
My point is that in a matter of years which, God-willing, will equate to merely an eighth or so of my life everything changed. I did meet a man shortly before my 31st birthday who did fill that void in my life and to whom I have been happily married for 8 years. My life is nothing now as it was then. All of the worries and heartaches I felt at 30 have become moot. Of course new worries have taken their place. Things I never even thought about when I was a spring chicken. Things like my parents getting older, keeping my children safe, raising them to be thoughtful, intelligent, caring, etc. I don't think you ever outgrow fears, they just change as you move along your spectrum of life. But at least we can face those new fears with more strength and confidence, knowing that when we reach that next phase of our life, this mountain of fear that is in front of us now will be behind us, and when we look back from a distance will be but a small stone and we will laugh at ourselves for letting it intimidate us as much as it did. I know that when I hit the big 5-0 the fifty-year-old me will be asking herself "Why did I let those things bother me so much when I was forty?" That knowledge may not stop me from stressing when we are running late for the bus or yelling at my kids as they wipe their peanut butter hands on their jeans or any of that everyday crap we all deal. But when the house is quiet and I am alone with my thoughts it will comfort me and allow me to enjoy the gift of this family that I so very much wanted, and for which I am so truly grateful, and forget all of the rest. At least until tomorrow.
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